An I Do a Couple of Years from Now
I just visited my dentist today. I got my yearly tooth-cleaning. And, just so you know, it ended well. I do not have that much damage in my perfect teeth. But what is the point of mentioning my dentist in this blog post?
Well, the point is—as soon as I sat at that dental chair, the dentist told me: [So, you’re sure you won’t want to get married one day.] I think it was supposed to be a question, but it came out as a statement. I am nineteen years old, and a few weeks from now, I will be twenty. And, believing in fairytales and happy endings, believe me when I say that I want to have my own family one day. A complete family with a happily ever after, a glass slipper, a pumpkin, and whatever Disney crap it can have. I want that.
But, I also need to be a doctor. Again, believe me when I say that I hate studying. I hate it when I have to choose studying over the mall. I hate it when I have to choose Biology books over romance novels. But, I need to. I need to because this is the path that I have chosen for myself. And being a junior in college, it is too late to go back, to look back, and to think back. This is what I have now. I have to stick to it. It is not that I regret choosing the path towards medicine…I just feel like I did not think it over well enough. I feel like I will be studying for an eternity—which I will since there are technological developments every day. But, when my dentist told me this question/statement…I felt like not getting married is something I do not want to happen to me. Ever.
I want my own fairytale, and I know that it can happen despite the work load I will have.
But more than wanting to have my own royal wedding, one thing that entered my mind when my dentist said that was: [Doc, I do not know what made you say that, but I want to get married someday…if that is in my destiny. However, most of all, I want to get my parents married too. I want to give my parents a wedding they never had.] The truth is, I study so hard to have high grades not only to get high grades and hope for a bright future, but also because I have to support my family. And support does not only mean giving what is needed, but also providing what can be provided even if it isn’t needed. And with that, I want to give my parents a wedding of their lifetime.
I was not born with a silver spoon. We are not rich, we are not so poor, but what we earn each day is a blessing we truly need to support ourselves. My dad, he wasn’t rich when he was young, and he isn’t rich now. My mom was the rich one, but when she married my dad, her parents just could not accept how stupid my mom was for love. And still is…. And being together, that meant that my parents needed to save a lot because they already had me when they were young.
I remember asking my dad’s mom about a picture. I saw my mom wearing a white dress with a little white veil in a picture. She was beside dad, and they were both kneeling in front of God. But…the thing is, it wasn’t only my mom getting married. Other brides were there as well. A lot of them. And other grooms as well. So, I asked my grandma why there were so many brides in one wedding. Then, she told me that because it was a church wedding. It was a free wedding given by the church. I asked my grandma why my parents didn’t have their own wedding. I mean, during those days, my parents had almost nothing, but they had something. My grandmother had something. But I guess, love isn’t worth a grand wedding when money does not from trees…well, at least sometimes.
And that is a picture I can’t get out of my head. From this day, it is what I can remember aside from other things. I want to be the one to give my parents a second shot with their wedding. I want my mom to wear a long bridal gown with a long veil. I want her to have the perfect shoes, the best make-up artist, the amazing hair…and everything. I want my dad to not where beige pants and a white polo. I want him to wear a three-piece American suit especially made for him. I want to give my parents the wedding they would want to give me one day. I know that they cannot afford to give me my grand royal fairytale wedding, but I want to be the one to give what they want for me…for them. And so, that is why I need to study hard, work hard, and become a doctor.
Every day my parents travel to make a living. And every day, I can’t help but think that I want to be the reason for them not to work anymore one day because I will be the one to support them.
And so, if the price to pay is not achieving my dream of having my own family, then maybe making my own family, most especially my parents, is worth it. After all, my ultimate dream is to support my family. And my family would always go first before me. But if there is that one person who can understand my work ethics, who would be willing to wait, then it would be my pleasure to fall for him. But first and foremost, I have to make sure that I can make those who made me happy first.
At the end of every day, of every test, and of every sweat…it is all for my parents. Not only because they said “I Do” just to have a complete family, but also because they promised to stay together to be able to make me the person I am today.