Spoiler Review: Don’t Speak by Kate Regnery

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I haven’t read such a great book in such a long time. I’m a busy person, but this book–you can’t just stop and put it down. It has everything I have wanted in a fairytale. There’s that deep passion, that dedication, that…everything. YOU HAVE TO PICK THIS BOOK UP.

This is a Little Mermaid retelling. But NO, there is no mermaid involved, or any mute person for that matter. This tells the story of Laire and Erik. Laire is a fisherman’s daughter, and she lives a very old-fashioned lifestyle. You touch her intimately, then you’d have to marry her. On the other hand, we have ERIK, the rich boy, her prince.

A summer brings them together, and makes them fall in love. But just like any secret relationship, it doesn’t end well. And just like any other story, there is an antagonist in Erik’s mother who makes their relationship truly break apart. But at the end of the day, they still find each other, and they still fight for the love they have in their hearts.

I can’t really write the details of the story, since I’ve got a load to study, but just saying–you have to read it. If there is one thing I didn’t like about this book, it would be the ending….The book ended with both Laire and Erik’s family both broken. Both their parents didn’t even go to their wedding. I hate that Erik’s parents don’t ask for forgiveness, and I hate that Laire’s father can’t let go of the old-traditional fashion. Other than that, this book is just great!

I’m giving it a 4.8/5 rating. IF the ending was given a little bit more length to fix up their families, I’d totally give it a 5.

xoxo, Elle.

I’m looking for a benefactor who can save me.

The truth is…

Ever since I was little, I’ve always loved writing. I love writing. And, when in this country writing won’t bring you anywhere, I chose to love something else. And now, choosing that profession is making me feel guilty.

I chose premed as my course because writing cannot give me a good living. Like I said, writing is not really a success of a profession in my country. I chose premed for my college course. And when I made this decision, we still had money. Income was good, and support for what I chose was high. Everyone who I thought supported me, supported me. But little did I know that they never did. And they just made me realize this after we lost our only sole source of income.

At the middle of things, after losing our source of income, I had decided to quit premed, because I knew that we would not have the money. But, I was already an incoming third year, when things got really bad. And quitting cannot be an option. First, it would be an embarrassment to  everyone. And second, I know transferring and getting into a new good school was impossible. Third, writing won’t be a successful profession.

Every time my dad and I would fight, he would always tell me how I am his biggest problem—how much they need to spend for my education, and how long it will take until the day I will get to help them. It’s one thing that my dad makes me realize how stupid I was for picking a course which he supported me with when we had money, but it is another thing when your mother also agrees with him.

Every day in my life, I worry myself sick with how high of a grade I am supposed to have to get into a great medical school. I worry myself sick with thoughts regarding my future. Will I be successful?

Originally, I plan to study abroad after college. You can’t really be a well known doctor in the Philippines unless you study abroad and bring back gifts of knowledge. But right now, that isn’t even an option anymore. So, the only thing left is to get in UP, which I know will be very very difficult.

I hate it when my dad reminds me of how much of a burden I am, when he was the one who encouraged me in the first place. When everyone encouraged me in the first place. I basically don’t have a life not because I’m bad a socializing or being a people-person. It’s just that I really have to concentrate on my studies so that I can graduate with Latin honors. So that I can get into a good medical school. And so that I can get them to walk up the stage with me when I get a medal when I graduate. Sometimes, I think about what’s going on in their heads. Don’t they know why I am doing all these things? Why I stay home and study basically always? Why I isolate myself? Is it because there is something wrong with me? Or is it because I have to adjust to the fact that they can’t give me enough support in the future?

I have to get a Magna so that I can apply for scholarships. And maybe then, they would not think of me as such a big burden anymore. Because honestly, even when we had money, I was already a burden because they couldn’t afford to get the things they personally want anymore.

I wish I had just made the wrong mistake and took business. Then maybe it would have been the right choice today.

The truth always hurts. That’s what my dad says every time he insults and degrades me about what I chose. But you know what the real truth is for me? It’s the fact that ever since I was little, I experienced only little happiness. Because the family I grew up in was and still is always fighting. And what hurts me is that even after everything, I’m doing the best I can for them still. It’s really stupid, I know. But I wish, that this would be the truth that they would see.

Living a busy life

Hi guys!

I missed being not busy. I don’t even know why I really picked a medical course. I feel like I’m wasting my life by studying too much. As in, I don’t get to enjoy things anymore. I am sad and depressed and stressed most of the time. Especially since I’m taking the med school exam soon.

I have zero time for reading. And, I am just basically writing this post because I feel like suddenly writing.

I miss my life so much. And I miss my family even if I see them every day. Holiday break is almost over and I’m wasting it on reviewing for medical school. I am just so very scared, guys. As in, seriously. I know that not a lot of people visit my blog since I haven’t been active in all, but if you are currently reading this, please pray for me–that I may do well in my upcoming medical exam to get in the best medical school.

I just really want to make my parents proud. And I want to give back to them the best way possible. And that is by proving to them that the education they are giving me really is worth it. I am so scared, everyone.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to manage time. I don’t know where this life will take me. I. Am. So. Scared. What do I do?? I’m so worried all the time. I really don’t want to live like this. I want to live easy and free like my sister who is taking business. But I’m here already. And, there is no going back. I’m almost a step closer to medical school and 4th year college. I am so worried. I’m so scared. I wish I can get where I want to go to. It won’t be for me after all, cuz it always be for them.

I need your prayers, please. Please pray that my heart won’t panic half the time I’m awake. I just wish I can enjoy my life more. I feel like I’m wasting it. 😦 If you’re reading this, never decide to make your life difficult. Just do what you really want to do before it’s too late that you can’t go back anymore. Just make yourself happy before others, please. Do what you really want to do, cuz life doesn’t give second chance. But I really do hope I get in the medical school I want to. Please.

Life: To the dog that suffered the consequnce

I’m really having the worse semester of my life.

And I lost points today in my Math test…I feel so sad and depressed. And on the drive home, I did not realize that the walking dog in front of my car…won’t make it to the sidewalk. I hit the dog slowly. I felt it cry…I feel even more depressed now. I have dogs and I love dogs. I didn’t mean it, and I never intended too. To this dog, I really am sorry with all my heart.

From this day forward, I will never look at dogs the same way. Dogs are just like humans. And I will treat them with more appreciation and patience.

Spoiler Review: Love Letter To Whiskey by Kandi Steiner

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This is the story of B and Jaime. And it is literally their story, and B writes it down as a letter to Jaime for him to know she loves him. I loved this book throughout the first few pages. But as all the twists and turns came about, I was beginning to get annoyed with the story. Because…what is the whole point of making the twists? If at the end…only one realization is realized?

Basically this book is about a couple who can’t seem to be “together” due to certain forces. At first, they can’t be together because Jaime is B’s bff’s boyfriend. Then, when Jaime was available, they can’t be together because Jaime was leaving for Alder college. Then, when the two meet in Alder, they couldn’t be together again because B already has a boyfriend who happens to be Jaime’s roommate. Then, when finally, B was ready to break things off with her boyfriend, Ethan, to be officially with Jaime, her dad dies and so she has to leave Alder and Jaime behind. And when Jaime waits for B for three years in Alder but she doesn’t go back, they meet again in their hometown. And just when they were finally ready to love each other, B leaves for Pittsburg for her internship! And she doesn’t agree to a long distance relationship. And when she doesn’t, Jaime moves on with another girl who he asks for marriage. And when the marriage did not push through, and finally they decided to be “together” with a title, but then the ex-fiance ruins it. So B is left devastated but was able to move on and was even asked for marriage by another guy. And though the wedding pushed through, it only lasted for 5 months. And finally after all those zigzags, Jaime and B finally ends up together married before 30.

AND I JUST HAVE TO SAY that though the author can write, what she wrote was really…i don’t know. I feel like I wasted my time reading this. It’s basically about B just being scared of love. It’s silly. How can you be scared of something so powerful and so beautiful? I rate this 3 stars. The epilogue was so short and too soon…i would have given it 5 stars if it ended with a great epilogue.

Life: If I Can Have Just One dying Wish…

Randomly, just right now, my mind asked me “If you could die for someone, who would it be?” I don’t know why I thought about that, but looking at my Biology books just got me thinking. In the general ordinary normal sense, the answer usually is “for my mom or dad”. Or, if one is married with his own family, the answer would probably be “for the one I love the most” or for “my kid”.

But, since I’m just twenty and single, my mind immediately thought: “If I would die for someone, and if dying for that person makes me have one wish, then I would die for my little brother. BUT only on the condition that in exchange for my life, his life will lengthen forever.

My little brother has a heart disease. And, I know I’m his big sister, but I don’t memorize the term of his heart condition. All I know is that he is lacking one of the veins connected to his heart. And that his heart beats so fast all the time, sometimes I hear it. And most of the time, I pray it won’t just burst out because of being overused.

And so, I’d give my life in exchange for a wish. And that wish is for my brother to have a chance in having a normal life wherein he can do risks without worrying if it is good for his health or not. I know I get into a lot of fights with my brother, but at the end of the day, no matter how much I want to hate him for being him, I still love him. Just like how much I love my childish father, my indifferent mother, and my careless sister.

Maybe that makes me weird, but if there is one thing I know, no matter what happens, I will always love my family even if I want to hate them. My family is my life. And my life will not be worth living without them in it. All I do is for them. And hopefully one day, all will be enough.

Life: It also gets tiring to pretend…

The truth is, despite the facade my family showcases to other people, the other people seems to know that everthing is just a facade. They know it. I know it. I hate it.

I hate that I love my family despite how horrible our lives are. I hate that despite how horrible our lives our, I still find time to care, to love, and to seem to think that we are a family better than others. When in fact, we are not.

You won’t ever meet a family like mine.

My dad loves to say bad words. He can say one full sentence just filled with horrible bad words. Sometimes I want to kill him because his mouth is so dirty. Apart from that, he calls us all names. Names that are funny to him, but painful to us. Painful for me. He loves to curse too. When he is really mad, he curses me. He tells me that I’ll never be successful. That I am stuck here studying medicine forever. He curses me because he hates his life. And in return, I wish I would have the strength to curse him back. But I’m scared because despite everything…I can’t bring myself to do it. I hate my father most of the time. He is also very dirty. The nature of his work is dirty. I get it. But at home, can’t he be a clean and decent human being? It’s as if I have a dirty man as a father. And yes, though he knows when to clean up, sometimes I find it so hard to look at him because I know that underneath his expensive clothes is just another facade he is just showcasing. When I look at the other perfect fathers out there, I can’t help myself. I ask God where my own version of a perfect father is. A father I can really look up to because he has a pure heart. A father that I can be proud of. And a father that wouldn’t curse me. Curse everyone. Because with what he is doing, he’s making our life hopeless.

Then there is my mother. My mother who doesn’t have the courage to make things right. My mother who is moody. My mother who has favoritism. Don’t get me wrong, my father has favoritism too. But my mother. My mother who is like an angel to you when she needs something, and a whole knew creature when she doesn’t. My mother…how can I describe the woman who I adore sometimes but don’t. My mother who can defend me from strangers, but not from family. My mother who I know doesn’t even love or like me that much? And so I ask God again…God, where is the mother I need when I need her? The mother who calls me in the middle of the day to ask if I had lunch already? The mother who really cares not because she has to but because she just does? Where is that mother, God?

Then my sister. My sister who doesn’t care about anything. The sister who is good at asking. But when it is my turn, makes no time for me…even for just answering questions. I bet that when I celebrate a milestone in my life, I won’t have that kind of sister who would arrange all the details. My sister wouldn’t care. She wouldn’t. Because she doesn’t care about anyone. She doesn’t even care about herself. God, don’t I deserve to have a sister like me? I wish I had another version of myself. Because I know I’ll be that perfect sister. The perfect sister my sister isn’t even grateful for.

I have a brother. A brother who also uses me. A brother who physically hurts me when he is angry with me. A brother who is a devil most of the time. I don’t even know what to say about him. God, don’t I deserve an appreciative brother too?
God, don’t I deserve a happy family? A dad that has great dreams for his children and works smartly hard for them? A mother who is real and not living a facade in front of me? A sister who has my shoulder? A brother who stops telling me that no one loves me?

God, don’t I deserve beautiful and wonderful things too? Don’t I deserve it? Are you going to tell me thet you don’t love me too? I’m so tired, God. I’m so tired of being the best when no one is there to cheer on me anyway without a strike of jealousy. I am so tired of wanting to do my best for the people who hate me. I am so tired of living a life that started from sin. I’m so tired of pretending everything is well when it isn’t. I am so tired of everything that sometimes I wish I wasn’t. I’m so tired, Jess. Can’t I have the best of both worlds too? If you love me Jess, did you forget me when you showered blessings upon everyone I know? Please remember me, God. Please remember I need you too.

The Goal by Elle Kennedy COVER reveal!

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She’s good at achieving her goals…

College senior Sabrina James has her whole future planned out: graduate from college, kick butt in law school, and land a high-paying job at a cutthroat firm. Her path to escaping her shameful past certainly doesn’t include a gorgeous hockey player who believes in love at first sight. One night of sizzling heat and surprising tenderness is all she’s willing to give John Tucker, but sometimes, one night is all it takes for your entire life to change.

But the game just got a whole lot more complicated

Tucker believes being a team player is as important as being the star. On the ice, he’s fine staying out of the spotlight, but when it comes to becoming a daddy at the age of twenty-two, he refuses to be a bench warmer. It doesn’t hurt that the soon-to-be mother of his child is beautiful, whip-smart, and keeps him on his toes. The problem is, Sabrina’s heart is locked up tight, and the fiery brunette is too stubborn to accept his help. If he wants a life with the woman of his dreams, he’ll have to convince her that some goals can only be made with an assist.

Purchase Links

Amazon: http://amzn.to/2aI6DAx

Nook: http://bit.ly/2aNXrhC

Kobo: http://bit.ly/2aW2hIK

iBooks: http://apple.co/2b2IaKb

 

Life: Even After Your Heart Stops Beating

My brother has a heart condition. His heart beats faster than a flying bird, a swimming fish, and you running from a monster. The rate of his heart beat is so fast, I’m afraid of the day it will get tired of beating all together.

Tonight, my grandmother told me to love my brother extra much because his life won’t last until forever. And her words haunt me. I am afraid of the day his heart will get tired.

A lot of us say how painful it is to experience heartbreak and heartache. But I think that pain is more than just a heart broken up by a boy. Real pain means real life problems. Not about boyfriend/girlfriend, but about love that last for so long, it hurts all together when someone takes it away from you. Especially when that love is from a family member.

I’m writing this to remember the conversation I had with my grandmother. Today made me realize how much I love my brother, and how much I love him more each day his heart is growing tired. I’m afraid if his heart overworks itself, but I am more afraid if his heart gets tired of fighting to be with us.

I don’t know how to describe what I am feeling now. But I do know that I will always love my brother even after the day his heart stops beating. I pray that that won’t be soon. We love him so much, and I know his heart loves us back too.

Spoiler Review: It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

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Review Rating: 2/5 stars

If there is one truth about this book, it is seriously overhyped. But, considering it is a book written by Colleen Hoover, the person who wrote the amazing book, Hopeless, of course everyone will wait upon this book. And I was one of those people.

I love the cover of this book, I love Colleen, I love that Ryle, one of the main protagonists/antagonist, is a neurosurgeon. I like how I saw how challenging it really is to be a doctor. And I needed my eyes open for that since I am hoping to be one. I love Ryle so much that I hated that he didn’t end up with a happily ever after with Lily, the main protagonist. And yes, I really hate Lily.

I won’t tell you what this book is about and just proceed to spoiling it because I know that’s why you are here. The summary says everything anyway.

If there is one thing that the relationship of Lily and Ryle lacked, it would be honesty. Lily is a liar who is still madly in love with Atlas, the homeless guy..who was homeless once upon a time…and we do not even have a clear reason for that until the very end. Ryle, on the other hand is also a liar…about not admitting his challenging past. And Atlas…well, I never really fell in love with him. How can a fifteen year old fall in love with a guy without a home, his own clothes, and probably a toothbrush?!

I hate how selfish Lily thought like. Yes, Ryle did physically accidentally hit her…but that was because of his trauma with the fact that he shot his brother by accident when he was younger. And besides, if you will notice, all their fights are because of Atlas. Rephrase: How Lily always kept Atlas hidden from Ryle. Now, if there is one thing about Ryle…he’s like super in love with Lily. He even changed his perception of love and marriage and kids and HEA. He is the epitome of perfection! But Lily just ruined him and his temper because she wasn’t honest enough to tell Ryle that she saw Atlas in his new restaurant, that he saw Atlas again when the latter apologized for the scene that happened in his restaurant, when Atlas gave her his number…and even the journals, the magnet..and the tattoo. If Lily just really really really love Ryle, everything would have been perfect.

But we have to admit. Lily didn’t wholeheartedly love Ryle, because every time she would see Atlas, she would swoon over him.

And in the end, she just puts the blame on Ryle. And there was even an instance she placed it on Atlas. I get that she doesn’t want to experience the abuse her own mother experienced, but this was totally different. Ryle has a trauma…and Lily’s dad was just an asshole.

This book was so…addicting to read cuz you just want to reach the end. But the end really disappointed me. And I hate Lily. Err.

To cut it short, nothing will beat Hopeless…or even Ugly Love. This book…I think what it should focus on is about honesty in a relationship. But I get it that abuse should never be part of a relationship either…and I will never want to marry a man who will abuse me. But, maybe I won’t be a liar to my husband either. Isn’t marriage all about being an open book anyway?

Oh Colleen, I really wanted to love this book. But I just feel so disappointed right now. Good thing the cover is amazing. That at least makes it all worth it.